Too many members of the domestic violence community will assume that an accusation or allegation is true. In exasperation, target parents often want to “cure” the toxic parent with medication or therapy. They serve on committees. No group is more anti-Gardner than are the domestic violence community and the National Organization for Women. In one case to which I became acquainted a disturbed mother treated her oldest daughter as if she was disturbed. Parental alienation syndrome occurs when one parent emotionally manipulates a child to convince them that the other parent is a bad person. If a mother refused to share a child, the court was a father’s only opportunity to be involved in his child’s life. In the kind of twisted upbringing I am referring to, the child is made to feel abnormal, to have crazy judgments, unhealthy instincts and is deemed untrustworthy and not sensible. Fathers going to the family law court to get shared custody caused a burgeoning of family law cases. Their toxicity becomes lethal because it is hidden. National Organization for Women, www.now.org. Individuals with these problems do not solve problems by being rational, but rather by escalating ordinary events into dramatic episodes. She already got a custody order by bullying our daughter into telling an attorney what she wanted her to and my daughter wants to come home but she has everyone believing that we are the worst p.o.s.s in the world and nobody will listen to us. “The McMartin Preschool Abuse Trial: A Commentary 2003 Internet.”. He has written and testified extensively about false allegations of sexual abuse that had become common during this period. Nobody would ever think that such people have a single bad thought because they themselves would never think it. There are three degrees of PA that can result in PAS. As soon as a therapist suggests that they behave better or that what they are doing is harming their child, splitting occurs. Working parents involved in a high-conflict child custody case find it hard to focus on the job. It is also claimed that fathers have been awarded primary legal custody when they have in fact been guilty of domestic violence or have molested a child. Chief Kuhlmeyer asked the parents to keep the letter strictly confidential. It’s not considered to be a mental disorder, but rather a type of … She testified that 384 McMartin students had been abused. The problem with media reports of bad things that happen to children is one of proportion. Williams, Frank. Problems related to divorce will continue long after the final decree is signed and the last court appearance is over. Psych Central does not provide medical or psychological In these cases, joint custody simply does not work because one parent refuses to negotiate or change their point of view. Obsessed parent alienators will stop at nothing to damage or even severe a child’s relationship with a parent. Mounting attorney fees, court evaluations, and multiple other costs involved in making the case that they are a good parent and deserve to be in their child’s life quickly deplete financial reserves. Their calcified thinking does not allow them to be bothered with exceptions. Millions of people are ending up damaged because, up to now, we have not even recognized the phenomenon or truly considered its impact. advice, diagnosis or treatment. Most disorders may also be compounded by complications from drug abuse or alcoholism, post-traumatic stress disorder, situational hormonal fluctuations, or obsessive-compulsive features. Their dramatic justifications for their aberrant behaviors defy reason. In spite of what they say, they are unable to act in the best interests of their child. (Childress, Newsweek, October 2006). These things can be passed on from generation to generation. People comment, “How can they lie like that? However, the end result is that they are unfazed by the efforts to make them healthier. How are they able to justify in their own mind any behavior, no matter how excessive?” This is because they are able to make up the truth to suit themselves and then passionately believe the story they made up. In 1985, Dr. Richard Gardner first introduced a phenomenon found in family law cases called parent alienation syndrome. In addition to his groundbreaking insights about PA/PAS, he had a long and illustrious career as a psychiatrist specializing in children. (Richard Gardner, 2001). Ranked as the #1 Divorce Blog on the Internet since 2016! Unfortunately, much of the domestic violence community focuses only on violence perpetrated by men, rather than also including the violence perpetrated by women against fathers and children. It isn’t a gender issue, as both men and women are guilty of initiating PAS in children. Gregory Lester, Ph.D., describes possible causes that can account for the severity of the psychological disturbance seen in severely alienating parents. Claims of parental alienation syndrome (PAS) and parental alienation (PA) have come to dominate custody litigation, especially where abuse is alleged. He is the scapegoat for people who desperately need an enemy to blame. Dr. Gardner took on this difficulty, and he wrote volumes about how to understand the complexities of these highly volatile cases. These mothers are quick to respond that all a father has to do is say she is guilty of PA/PAS and he will get custody of the child whom she was only trying to protect. Target parents are likely to borrow against credit cards, siphon money from pension plans, liquidate the equity on a house, or ask extended family to help pay for an escalating and increasingly expensive conflict. If they give something, the gift is likely to have strings attached. The irony is that those people whose stated purpose is to prevent domestic violence contribute to it by putting the whole body of Dr. Gardner’s work out for target practice, not for analysis. Issues of deteriorating physical health arise as stress takes its toll. PAS describes the child’s behavior in response to the brainwashing that has occurred; it does not describe actions on the part of a parent. The toxin is deep inside them and has rendered them helpless.